All stuck inside

I hate it when people talk down to me. I hate being thought of as stupid, and I hate it when he talks to me irritably, like as if I am a stupid girl having trouble understanding what he says.

I am not stupid, I understand what you say. What I don’t understand is the reason for this attitude of yours. I didn’t even say anything to start an argument, yet I don’t know why you want to do so. I have been so tolerant of you and your stupid childish attitude. What have you done for me in return? Scorn me? Degrade me with everything?

Why are we arguing so much lately? Are you facing stress from your exams? Aren’t we all? Do I lash out at you? In fact, I comply to everything you want, but you never do the same for me. Is it so hard to just accompany me to somewhere where I want to buy food to eat? It’s not like I’m asking you to go out on a joyride. The time consumed is just about the same as if you went out for a meal. Stop treating like everything I ask you to do is a waste of your precious time.

Now we can’t even decide to go on a holiday. To be frank, I don’t want to. But because you want to, I’m complying with you. Do you know how much I have to cheat on my parents just to plan this holiday? It’s all for you. And you don’t appreciate a thing. Going on this holiday can only come to two consensus. Either we’ll be better than before, or our relationship will turn sour. It’s really up to you.

I really want you to change. I am so sick of tolerating you and your childish behavior, and then acting like as if you’re so great, you’re so smart. You say you want to entertain others, but you’re entertaining them by making a fool out of yourself. And don’t forget, you’re making a fool out of me as well.

I just feel so frustrated with you, and this relationship. I just want to run away to someplace and cry my heart out. I want to talk to someone about it, but I never have anybody to talk to. It’s not that I don’t; I just don’t want to. I want to bluff everyone into believing that my relationship is perfect. It’s not. Nothing is.

What happened to the glow of the love I had when I first fell in love with you? Day by day, it’s fading as the real you claws its way out.